My heart is beating so fast and my fingers can barely keep up with the words in my head. I wish I was eloquent enough to make some poetic announcement, but I’m not…so here it is:
We were chosen this week.
Some expectant mother has read our profile, looked at our “look book” and this past Wednesday morning, she made the decision to selflessly gift US the greatest gift and the greatest news we’ve received in a REALLY long time.
We are FINALLY going to be parents.
We are going to BE parents.
We ARE parents.
I got the phone call from our social worker around 9:30am and SCREAMED when I got off the phone. I haven’t screamed for joy like that since Jay & I got married…7 long years ago! My co-workers circled around me, crying and cheering and crying some more. I needed to tell Jay. I walked over to the school (with my posse of co-workers behind me, cameras in tow) and walked into Jay’s classroom.
The wide-eyed look of disbelief on his face was priceless. “We’re going to be parents!” He couldn’t believe it. His smile was the biggest I’ve seen in years, it was the smile of a father.
Jay told his class and they cheered so loudly, they were SO excited that we were finally going to be parents. The news trickled through the school halls and we were FINALLY able to live in THAT moment of announcing the very announcement we had grieved through so many times before.
I texted my family and our closest friends – tempering the news a little with the reality that this expectant mother COULD still change her mind before birth or up to 7 days afterwards. The mother is due any day now, already 3cm dilated, so our lives are about to change for ever…any day…now. Until then, we are anxiously excited and praying that God is writing BOTH of our stories for the better and that HIS will be done and HIS peace be given to ALL of us in this whole process.
I catch myself tempering my excitement and not allowing myself to fully believe it’s real because of the looming reality of a changed mind, and then someone very wise stopped me and said…this is YOUR moment…finally! We need to live in the JOY of THIS moment. We shouldn’t discount the joy by the fear or doubt of what “could be”. God will provide us the strength to deal with that reality if and when it comes.
So today…I’m choosing joy. I’m choosing to live in that joy as I type this and I’m choosing to live in that joy as we get ready now to meet the bravest, most loving woman I know. This morning, we will meet this wonderful expectant mother and we will hopefully attempt to share with her the enormous LOVE and RESPECT we have for her.
She is breathing redemption and grace into our broken hearts and for that we will forever honor and LOVE her by raising this sweet baby.
Our sweet baby.
Our sweet baby boy.