“You call me out upon the waters
– Oceans, by Hillsong United
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep”
This has been my state of being for the last month. In the first month of 2014, I find myself in a state of gratitude and hopefulness. The holidays were a whirlwind of expected proportions, but oh, so wonderful. I was able to reconnect with some of my most favorite ladies from the past, the present and all different walks of life.
And it did my heart good.
I’m not one to make resolutions per se, but I am a fan of re-focusing and re-centering and the new year seems like a great excuse to do both of those things. Over the next few days, I wanted to share a few words that I’m leaning into for 2014:
After my insanely amazing summer of travel and exploration, my heart and my head were absolutely wrecked…and in the best way possible. It’s always surreal when you get the chance to step out of your comfort zone and into the realization that the world is much, much bigger than your own little bubble. For me, this realization brought me to a place of reflection and reconsideration. Reconsideration of the things that consume my time, my thoughts and my life.
Jay and I – somehow somewhere along the way – have changed. (Duh, right?!) It became clear to me that there has been this weight – this consuming pressure – on us for the last year or so. It sometimes seems that we’ve stopped dreaming…stopped pursuing…stopped living the lives that we planned to live when we first met ten years ago. Yes, we’ve dealt with some pretty ridiculous heartache and I’ll just go ahead and say it, we’ve been through some pretty shitty trials. I guess that may be “the way life is” or “normal” for some, but something about it doesn’t sit well in the depths of me. We have to allow ourselves time to grieve, but also to look past that grief with hope. It’s been almost impossible for me to allow myself to really grieve because, well…I just don’t do that. My “cup-half-overflowing” mentality doesn’t agree with the notion of being sad or disappointed for any extended period of time. It’s been impossible for me to really do this because of all the CLUTTER in my mind and in my heart.
That’s the word that keeps coming up over and over again in recent days…CLUTTER. We have allowed clutter (taking on its various identities) to stifle us, to slow us down and to distract us from dealing with the reality of our feelings, from being PRESENT and doing the things we dream, from truly being the people we know we want to and should be. This is where my first word of 2014 comes from…SIMPLIFY. I’m excited and nervous to see where that word takes me and to what areas of my life that it impacts this year.
I recently finished Jen Hatmaker’s book “7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess“, and it further validated the stirring in my heart and showed me a few tangible areas of my life where I can start simplifying. This year, I am looking at ALL areas of life and beginning to PURGE out the freaking clutter. I’ve started reflecting on things that slow me down and begun my somewhat reckless pursuit of what God has in store for me and my family.
Stay tuned for the next word of 2014.